If you are interested in
having your personal stories and/or photographs
published on this website
send me an email.
Also, I have access to the stories submitted for
the Morgellons Notebook and will publish any of
them upon the original authors request.
Life With Morgellons -
From Sunny Simmons
- I have been a Registered
Nurse since 1977. Never in my worst nightmare
could I have dreamed the events in my life in
the past several years. My nightmare began back
in the fall, 2001. This is when I developed what
was thought to be contact dermatitis; a fancy
name for skin rashes. Next, I was told it was
head & body lice or even scabies. This was not
too far from the impossible & considered to be
just a job hazard. I worked as a Public Health
Dept R.N. I was treated by my office docs,
initially, without much thought to it. However
by Nov. 2001 it was clear that something more
going on and I saw my first
dermatologist. He did a few punch biopsies of
sores on my legs and arm. These came back as
inflamed tissue, negative for parasites. No
further tests were done. I will never forget the
last time I saw him. He came into the room with
one assistant; he then left. Upon returning he
had 4 assistants with him. He said to me, "I
don't know why you think you have bugs in your
skin but you don't. He gave me a prescription
for Orap. I sat in my car in the parking lot and
cried for a good hour. I never went back.
- In January 2002, I was found
by a local police officer wandering in the
middle of the night in the midst of a severe
thunderstorm. Thinking I was a victim of crime,
I was taken to ER and had a CT scan, which was
normal. I have no memory of this entire episode.
- In April 2002, my hair on the
left side of my head totally sloughed off while
shampooing. About this time lab work by my
general MD began coming back with severe anemia
& abnormal differentials. However, my employer
made me consult a Psychiatrist. This doctor
(Psychiatrist and a long time colleague) was
upset that my real illness was being ignored. He
ordered a few tests just to get started and
stated that an Infectious Disease Doctor should
manage this. The MRI he ordered in May 2002, was
not done until July 2002. It was shockingly
positive for a few scattered unidentified
lesions in the white matter of all areas of the
brain. This was explained as possibly "normal
aging process" However; the CT scan from Jan '02
& previous MRI from 1997 were completely normal.
(I was actually told that the MRI was normal and
only found out the real results by accident).
- This is just a brief view of
how life changed for me after being infected
with Morgellons. I'm sure all details are not
necessary. I will just do a condensed version of
my Medical Situation since being infected with
Morgellons Disease. I was in a unique position
to be able to view this situation from the
patient's side as well as the medical
- Outline of medical "care"
- -- Summer, 2001 Initially
began as allergic rash poss. lice or scabies;
- --treated off and on with
various ointments, etc.
- -- only brief periods of
relief & became worse over time;
- --Fall, 2001 generalized
dermatitis, sores on scalp, neck, shoulders,
back, legs, feet, ankles, arms, hands, wrists;
- -- red streaks noted from
wrists to between fingers; on neck, arms, and
legs. First derm doctor who was a shocking
disaster as previously described.
- --April, 2002 --Acutely
worsened with development of breathing
difficulties, chest - pleuratic pain;
generalized skin lesions including linear red
streaks on neck, throat, legs, feet;
- --allopecia with scalp
lesions, pedal & pretibial edema in L leg;
- -- Vision & neuro changes
including decreased sensation with numbness L
arm -L leg, slurred speech, severe headaches;
- --urinary incont.
- --Lab CBC and differential
continued mild to moderately abnormal.
- -May, 2002- Psychiatric,
Neurological and Dermatology referrals
- -- Neuro consult recommended
referral for vision issues;
- 9-2002 2ND derm doc told me
not to see neurologist, eye specialist or any
other doctor AND not to have any lab work done.
He Rx'd Zyprexa, which I was to take for the
next month. After being on this medicine, he
would then decide if I needed to go to the other
doctors. One dose of Zyprexa put me to sleep for
3 days; dose reduced per
phone call with Dr's office;
- --Received letter from
Dermatologist office-- had fungal culture report
back from July '02 testing which revealed
Aspergillus-no further follow up persuaded since
it was felt to be an unimportant finding; about
2 week before I had received a letter from him
(2ND derm doc) dissolving our physician--
patient relationship, no explanation;
- -- 10-2002 sudden onset of
loss of vision L eye. (This was less than a
month since the derm doc had told me not to go
to any other Dr's.) Obtained emergency
appointment at SCO. Associated Professor at the
Southern College of Optometry found something in
my L eye which he was unable to identify;
appeared as brown speckles in the orbit,
eyeball, tissue on underside of eyelid; also
noted an absence of the normal pulsation on left
side which indicated a blockage of blood flow to
left brain- this would sort of validate the
neuro symptoms but still not identified the
- --Infectious Disease Consult
testing inconclusive recommended referrals for
biopsy of eye tissue & spinal tap for spinal
fluid analysis. Did not obtain due to the derm
- --12-2002 discovered
Morgellons Research Foundation. It was Christmas
Eve, possibly the worst one of my life. As a
direct result of this disease, I had lost my
marriage of over 20 yrs; my 2 sons were confused
and frightened--not to mention the fact that
their futures were forever changed due to our
financial situation. I was forced into
bankruptcy to avoid losing our home.
- --In 12-2002, MRF had made
connections with a retired NASA Physician in
Houston, TX. He was interested in seeing some of
the Morgellons patients. I traveled to his
office from Memphis, Tn.
- --In Feb '03, I was his 4Th
patient to be diagnosed with Morgellons Disease.
Eventually, lab work done later would confirm
Lyme Disease, too.
- -- --In June '03, my medical
insurance ended. COBRA was $700.00 a month.
After the bankruptcy was paid, I was left with
$500.00 a month to live on. Imagine 3 people
living on that--utilities, gas, car
maintenance/repairs, food, medicines, school
supplies, etc. It just doesn't work very well.
Because of my sick leave benefits being $2070. I
could not get any assistance. It was not taken
into consideration that the bankruptcy court
took nearly $1600.00 before I received anything.
These were the very same agencies that I
personally supported as well as worked with
while in my position in Community Services at
the public health dept. Never in my entire life
had I sought help, but now I truly needed it. I
was stunned to be told that my income to too
high to qualify for ANY help. This could not be
happening!? It did. Reality hits hard with
- --This next year (2003-2004)
was even worst than the previous. I had no
medical insurance, limited finances, no family
support, teenage sons to care for (the youngest
of which is handicapped), and a disease no one
knew about. When it is said, "My plate is full"
I understand first hand the meaning. My faith in
God is the only force that kept me going.
- -- In July of 2003, two
things happened. First, I had an acute worsening
of neurological symptoms and was admitted to the
hospital. Since I was in Memphis, my Houston
physician was not able to manage my care. No one
from this local hospital called him as a
professional courtesy. The 2ND day I was there,
an infectious disease doctor came in my room. He
stood at the door; it was about 6 AM. From the
edge of the room, he said that he did not
believe in Lyme Disease, and mentioned several
other diseases, too. He proceeded to inform me
that he was the only I.F. doctor on staff at
that hospital; he sternly stated that he would
"not be involved with this disease" and added
that since no other I.F. doctor was available, I
was out of luck. On his way out, he stated, "Of
course, you do have your doctor in Texas!" He
slammed the door upon leaving. This whole scene
took maybe 3 minutes. I still relive it almost
daily. I was in awe of this behavior. I had been
a medical professional for 26 yrs, yet, never
had I treated or seen a patient be treated in
such a manner. I was discharged home in a few
days, no better and without any answers.
- Then, the next disaster hit.
On July 22, 2003, a STORM with straight flat
line winds of 102 mph hit our county. My home
was nearly destroyed. The entire county and
surrounding areas were declared Federal Disaster
Areas. Due to my physical condition and lack of
personal support, my homeowners' insurance
company managed to get by without completely
restoring my home. This is still a deplorable
situation that I have to contend with every day.
- In August of 2004, I
qualified for TennCare. At last I had medical
coverage. Before, even if I could manage to
cover a doctor visit, it usually was impossible
to obtain the medications Rx'd, and any lab
requested was even further away. My last visit
to Houston had been in July'04. My doctor there
had written several Rxs as well as essential lab
requests. I still had them. As soon as I was
notified of receiving TennCare, I had the lab
drawn and obtained the medications. TennCare
truly saved my life.
- The loss of dignity and
respect are the worst part of Morgellons. I am a
medical professional and have been for better
than a quarter of a century. I have been
certified as an expert in my field by the Tenn
courts and testified in cases for the state. I
was well thought of and respected. How could
that be ripped from me? Why was I suddenly not
believed concerning the signs and symptoms of
this disease? What had happened to the medical
providers that wanted to actually care for
- In Sept. of 2004, my doctor
in Houston retired from clinical practice--to
focus on research. No one in Memphis, a
supposedly major medical center, knew about or
was willing to learn about Morgellons Disease.
It was financially impossible for me to continue
traveling to the few medical providers actually
treating Morgellons. They were located in areas
such as California, North Carolina, Texas. Even
having medical coverage, I still could not get
proper medical treatment. For the next 7 months,
I continued following my Houston doctors
protocol as best as I could. I am just thankful
that I was a nurse and could understand and
follow upon what he had begun. Most Morgellons
patients were on their own. And, most are nurses
- In February of 2005, a
physician in New Mexico came forth with
information about Morgellons Disease. He had
patients there with this same
condition, although termed it "The Fiber
Disease" and "Lisa's Disease". He had been
researching this strange infection and had
developed a preliminary protocol for treatment.
He had experienced some amount of success,
although the research was an on going process. A
full clinical research program should have been
formed, but that takes money--lots of money. MRF
had very limited funds. Morgellons patients were
typically, as financially deflated as I was. The
CDC tried to ignore our existence. Public Health
Depts which are mandated by laws to protect the
public ( & one at which I actually worked) were
of no help either.
- In March of 2005, a local
physician in my area and I crossed paths. I had
been seeing providers in the office for
depression related to my disease and situation.
This wonderful physician learned of my dilemma
and sought me out. It seemed that he had
other(s) which had symptoms like mine. He
invited me to make an appointment, which I
immediately did. In March 2005, I saw him for
the first time, I provided the latest
information about Morgellons for him to read as
well as contact numbers of others involved,
Initially, he followed the plan started by my
retired physician in Houston, After a while, he
spoke with the physician in New Mexico via
phone. I began the new protocol in April of
2005. After a rough start, I began to
dramatically improve, Over the past several
years, medications have been updated, adjusted;
remissions and relapsing experienced
intermittently; and best of all, had hope
restored for my future as well as the futures of
my children. Yes, this wonderful physician
welcomes any and all Morgellons patients to his
office. He has seen about 12 and helps other
docs with theirs, too.
- As we move into yet another
new year, I look towards the horizon with hope &
a strong sense of purpose. These past years have
been so horrible. But, I have come to realize
that if I had not had all the bad stuff, I would
never have met such grand and marvelous people
who have enhanced my life to the max! Today, I
am still sick & continue to try a varied
protocol of medications. The victories have been
few, but oh so very sweet. I have about 10 good
days a month, & they are scattered about (not
all together). The 8-month remission I
experienced during the spring & summer of 2005,
gave me a burning determination to find the
answers we all need. I will never stop until God
directs me home.
Hear more from
Gwen (Sunny) Simmons:
What Happened To CDC Morgellon's
MP3 Audio File
I contracted Morgellons
29 years ago at the age of 22; I have lived longer with it
than without. It started when I moved to a new subdivision
started by my uncle and father in Wellington, Utah. We lived
in the subdivision without incident for a time and than the
privatized sewage plant began to have issues.
one little girl who was 3 at the time and became pregnant
with the other while living in our new home. The second
pregnancy was a difficult one due to an Rh negative factor.
After the birth of my second child I decided to have a tubal
but a month after this I discovered I was pregnant again. I
carried the baby for six months; all the time having strange
sores on my body.
My husband's personality began to
change and he became very aggressive. I lost the baby after
six months and my life began to go into a downward
spiral--one thing after another.
I got an itchy spot
on my leg, one scratch and it opened to a mucus looking
stuff. I didn't sleep for many weeks; this was very
difficult having two small children that depended on me. I
had my aunt that was a pharmacy assistant come and look and
see if she could suggest something I could use
as it had become unbearable. I was too tired
to go to the doctors and was grateful for her advice; albeit
nothing worked and most things only seemed to make it worse.
Than it just went away, the sore healed strangely but I
was so glad for it to be gone and thought I was out of the
woods. Than came another sore; this time on my arm. The sore
was located between my elbow and wrist on the inside;
knowing how the first sore had healed so strangely I didn't
scratch at all. Not wanting to let it get to me, I was
outside doing yard work when I saw the crust had opened up
and I could see inside something that
looked like thick black fishing line. I knew that was
incorrect and thought perhaps it was something that had
poked in from the outside; I figured I needed to get it out.
I went into my home and grabbed a pair of tweezers and
some Neosporin. I put the tweezers down in my arm about 3/4
of an inch and grabbed the black line--boy was I
surprised--I pulled and it pulled back. At the same time in
my upper arm I felt something squeeze around my muscle. The
squeeze was so hard it dropped me to my knees in pain and
black oil came from my brow, face and neck area.
first doctor I described this to asked, "What has the
government done now?" He gave me a few things and it finally
healed up but something wasn't right inside of me.
had what seemed like lice at one point and scabies also; but
really don't think that is what they were. I had always been
very clean and organized and suddenly I couldn't think,
couldn't read numbers in a phone book and would have to call
my mom for help; it was awful.
My finger seemed to be
pointing in several directions at the same time as to how I
was infected. The sewage plant was my first thought and they
were having problems. It smelled just like an outhouse in
July for several years; it was so bad that tourists driving
through the area wrote articles of concern for the
I was watching my children play with some
neighborhood children when I saw one little boy with a tank
top on and a rash much like the one that was circling my
system--that is when I went into action. I walked the
neighborhood to see if others were experiencing the same
thing--everyone was depleted--the rash moved around
everyone's body in the same way--the endocrine system was
what seemed to be affected. This can cause many symptoms and
look like many different things.
I was told by
several workers at the plant that it had been glowing
fluorescent red. The news folks were called in and it was
compared to love canal; but before they arrived from SLC
(two weeks after they were called) much of the evidence was
cleaned up--the plant was working 24/7 to get rid of the
fluorescent red ----you could see the lights on and trucks
going in and out at all hours.
I spent two years
collecting evidence and in one fell swoop it was taken by a
woman working for one of the corporations that I connected
to the strange events. She was also involved in local
politics and called to say she was offering her assistance.
I broke down in tears and Thanked God for the
help---(she was just there to insure that the
documentation I had would never made it to any significant
I even went to the public health and the
director told me that the rash that was moving about my
body--up one side and than down the other --over and over in
the same places --was a spider.
At this point I was so
disgusted--I may have been 22 and duped by the witch that
took my proof but suggesting a spider is going to bite a
persons body in the same places over and over--that was over
A national guardsman also became ill and
died around the same time; he lived on the other side of the
sewage plant. He was the only one to become ill in his unit
that I know of--I found that odd.
The army came in
and made a statement which blamed his illness on Hanta virus
but the timing was so close I never believed them.
remember having a hard time waking from sleep and my body
felt as though I must have a fever although I never
registered one. I would have nightmares that were so bad I
began to hate to go to sleep; waking was also a problem and
with two small children to take care of I was very confused
as to what to do.
I also had Candida
in every part of my body but no way to treat with the
regular medical system who didn't recognize it at the time.
I remember my youngest just barely being able to sit up
and putting her in the tub with her older sister. I had
started the water and was on my knees with my hand under the
faucet while watching them the whole time. They started
saying it is too hot--to me it felt lukewarm --- that but
they insisted. So I quickly grabbed them and pulled them out
of the tub.
My husband had come in and began
screaming at me and saying I was crazy. I couldn't feel the
heat from the water--I would never do anything to hurt my
Several months later my sister was visiting
and I dropped something in a large, deep pan of boiling
water. She went to get something to scoop it out and I just
put my hand in and grabbed it--my skin didn't even go red.
When she turned and saw what I was doing her face fell in
disbelief; but she had just seen it with her own eyes.
I remember when I first made this comment and posted a
warning--after some science was looked into--they had me
post a Huge warning!
There was more weirdness that
occurred with electrical devices. I would walk by lights and
they would go on and off--the TV would change channels just
by my walking by it. One day I recall the washer not
working, the dryer, dishwasher and TV--my husband came home
to me in tears and he walked through and turned them all on.
Streetlights would also go on and off as I drove under them.
My family all but disowned me during this
period of time, the sun had become my enemy and I wore dark
glasses even in the house as my eyes were so sensitive to
the light. I was accused by everyone of doing drugs and I
My hair began to fall out and the sores were
so bad that I would only shop at night; but this also had
its drawbacks. The electronic eye at the store would not
register me and I had to wait until someone else came to do
my shopping. I began to think perhaps I'm dead-----
kept loosing weight; between the vomiting and the diarrhea I
dropped to 65lbs and looked like something from a
I made two appointments with two
different environmental toxicologists in SLC, Utah; which
was two hours from my home. The appointments were scheduled
for the same day thinking I could save frustration and the
cost of gas money.
I arrived at my first appointment
right on time and was told that my attorney called and they
wouldn't be able to see me. Not feeling well enough to
argue; I proceeded to my next appointment where I got the
same story!!! At this point; I asked to use their phone to
call my attorney; he was confused and said he hadn't called
and wondered what the hell was going on.
say, no one saw me that day and I realized that I was up
against many odds---I didn't even register the odds I was up
against fully until these last few years.
years I was to receive different articles suggesting
something sinister was afoot but who would listen. One
magazine was called "Garbage" and showed the connection to
the mob; another was a newspaper article that mentioned
dimple dell golf course.
I also received a packet
about 12 years ago--more on that later--
Here is the part of my story that may be connecting dots:
A national guardsman also became ill and died around the
same time; he lived on the other side of the sewage plant.
He was the only one to become ill in his unit that I know
of--I found that odd.
The army came in and made a
statement which blamed his illness on Hanta virus but the
timing was so close I never believed them.
part of my story could very well be something to do with why
the Army Pathology was called into the CDC investigation;
albeit I don't expect much truth to come from it.
what of the sewage plant fluorescing red
Read more from Crystal River; Her posts can be read here:
Rumor Mill Reading Room
from So. California
Akin to cancer,
Morgellons has no regard for ones life. I've tried
everything possible these last 6 years to try and defeat
this disease. But all it's brought me is useless
searching... and a financial drain as well. At this
point, I've been unable to find anything to even help
relieve the symptoms. Morgellons has taken all I ever
knew life to be and turned it into a living hell. It
also took the lives of my sweet dogs, and my heart will
never stop hurting for that reason alone. It's taken my
body and allowed my mind to leave me feeling all alone
in a thick fog... and it dares me to try to find my way
home. It's also brought me to have feelings of such
regret knowing now that I'd never even realized how good
life once was.
attacked my faith as well, and any hope that someone
somewhere would find the answers so a cure might be
found... or a way found for the body to reject it. But
there still are no answers... so it remains on it's path
of destruction as it continues to invade my body and my
environment. It also tries to invade my soul... but at
least I have God to protect me from it ever being able
to take that from me.
properties Morgellons holds seem to be one of its
deadliest weapons. It's a disease one would never
imagine could even exist in our world. It also has the
ability to mimic, self assemble, replicate, and hide
itself to where the body's own immune system is never
sent a signal to attack it. The only attack that takes
place is one that only heightens the fear and loneliness
you're already feeling... an attack brought on by the
mere telling of its symptoms.
out for help requires an explanation ... but instead of
listening with any amount of compassion, you're attacked
and judged about your state of mind. Talking about
Morgellons to anyone who's not experiencing it will only
give them reason to believe you've gone insane... which
fills you with even more fear and emptiness inside. Then
there are those in the medical field you once trusted
would help you. Not only will they not even bother to
examine or test you... they step back and immediately
give you a diagnosis of delusional. Again... you feel as
though you're a frightened child trying to wake from a
nightmare. But instead, the nightmare doesn't end...
you've been locked in a dark room and left there to find
ways to survive the disease on your own. At least my
family has never questioned my sanity... and I thank God
for that too. They've supported me and fought for me all
the way. But it was when I found others who are
suffering this disease that gave me the strength and
courage to go on.
It was the
beautiful people at the support group I found who
understood and knew what this disease does to one's
life. They gave me the validation I so desperately
needed... I knew I wasn't alone anymore. I could talk
openly about what was happening to me without the fear
of being judged as a mental case. No matter how bizarre
the symptom, they understood every single word I said.
It didn't even matter if they were suffering terribly on
any given day... they were always there for me. They
became my lifeline then and they still are today.
As far as
my old friends go, I lost most of them due to
Morgellons... friends who decided I'd lost my mind
instead of believing I was suffering a disease. After
experiencing that, I never expected I'd end up making
new ones. But I did through my support group... and
they've become some of the most beautiful friends I've
ever known. Even though each one is fighting for their
life, their hearts have remained full of love and
compassion. Because of them, I was also finally able to
let go of the need I had for my long time friends to
believe what I'm experiencing is real. It was the
support I needed and found elsewhere that finally made
me realize how difficult it must be for those who
haven't been afflicted to be able to grasp onto
something so bizarre... and to believe it's real. I
think most people would have to experience this disease
first hand to be convinced it is indeed very real. Even
though I live it day in and day out myself, it's still
hard for me to believe it is. But it is... the
Morgellons nightmare is very very real.
I thank God
every day for leading me to my support group. To friends
He knew would give me the love and support I'd need to
get through this ordeal. I also pray for each of us to
find the strength within to go on and that a cure be
found soon. I pray for the ones who couldn't bear the
pain any longer too... their lives gone forever, taken
Every Morgie has
allowed suicide to enter their mind at one point or
another... including myself. The general public hasn't
been informed about what it's effects are, other than it
produces skin lesions, "fibers", and causes biting and
crawling sensations. But there's so much more that needs
to be told to understand the horrific effects of it on
the body... and mind. To understand why it's brought
some of its victims to suicide...
electricity... giving you more than the normal amount
the human body holds. At times you feel like high
voltage wires are shooting through every nerve ending in
your body. To see actual sparks in your skin (or as I
do, see them emit thru the tips of my fingers when I
strike the keys on my keyboard) and to feel electrifying
jolts of pain throughout your body, doesn't even begin
to describe Morgellons.
The fiber strands
feel like a metal corkscrew with an electrical charge
twisting in and out of your skin. Once they become
embedded and adhere beneath the skins surface, they
begin to elongate and connect... and the building of a
network (much like a fungal network) begins, which
eventually covers your body.
In my case, it all
began in my scalp and is now systemic throughout my
body. Once Morgellons infects the hair follicles, the
shaft becomes dead and hollow. It then uses the hair as
a transport and "holding tank" for its particles,
leaving you with what's known as "pseudo hair." Hair you
now feel crawling in and out of your scalp that also
stands up on its own accord and begins to dance in the
air like a cobra snake. The transparent strands living
inside the hair shaft and throughout the skin are much
like spider silk... yet even stronger. Not only do they
live within the hair shaft, they connect and move thru
your body in rivers... it feels as though hundreds of
electrical wires are burning their way under the skin to
your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and all the way down to
your toes. You feel it winding its way thru your body
and also feel it's piercing sting when it surfaces from
beneath the skin... only to release its particles on you
and into your environment again before retracting back
beneath the skin.
emits a gel... with me it's been cycling 3 weeks out of
the month now. It begins to ooze from my hands and feet
and it's nearly impossible to remove from the skin once
it does. So it transfers to everything I've had to
touch just trying to slow it down. Then I go back to
clean it off the things I'd transferred it to (which
have now become a sticky glue-like mess too) which only
creates the problem again. To explain it better...
holding an object to clean it requires putting a small
amount of pressure on your hands... and a small amount
of pressure is all it takes for the gel to react and
ooze from my hands once again. So it also turns simple
cleaning tasks into a mere back and fourth hell that
sometimes takes up an entire day. I believe this Morg
gel also produces the particles and has the properties
to elongate into the sticky web-like strands... much
like how the gel a spider emits is used to create it's
own spider silk. It makes sense to me since the gel from
my hands and feet does that very same thing. In fact
looking under the scope, some of the Morgellons strands
are a match with bioengineered spider silk. Just my
I was finally able
to see the one elusive fiber strand I've not yet been
able to see only 2 weeks ago. It took (a lot of
perseverance) and one very exact angle the specimen had
to be held at, and for the sunlight (not regular
lighting) to hit it just right for it to even come into
view. Maybe that's why it's been so hard to find. Some
of you reading this will more than likely tend to think
I'm just some loony lady, but I'm not. As I said, this
is all just as difficult for me to believe as it is for
you, even though I live it day in and day out. The
strand looked as though it was made up of the same
material inside of the "etch-a-sketch" games we played
with as kids. It looked magnetic, and frantically
frayed, with what looked like volts of electricity
pulsing thru it at a very fast rate. It shot the tiny
particles out it's entire length with enough power to
create tiny sparks. It's taken me 6 years to find it...
the one strand I felt is behind the contamination factor
of Morgellons. I've searched for it since year 3 of my 6
year fight. Course, finally seeing it with my own eyes
makes me wish I'd never even begun my search.
Those of us with this
disease have learned so much about it... but only
because it was an unknown disease. So we've had no other
choice being we were pretty much (and still are) on our
own to try and find any kind of remedy we could to ease
the horrific symptoms. It brings me to tears knowing all
we've learned though. The reason being, is we can't seem
to get much response from those who could help to even
listen to what we have to say. There's no doubt
in my mind that all of the research done by those of us
who suffer would be a tremendous benefit to the ones who
could help our situation. So we keep hoping and continue
to convey all we've learned to make that happen.
Why it infects
some and not others is still one of many questions
there's yet to be an answer for. Although along with
others, I believe the Morgellons contaminate began in
the environment... and how I became infected by it. Once
I became infected though, it also spread easily from me
right into my own living environment as well. It also
transferred to my car, and my precious dogs whose lives
it eventually took. I can show you how easy it was for
the contamination to spread from me into my own living
space as well... especially via its gel-like substance.
I was looking at a
sample under my scope one day, when a drop of the gel
Morgellons emits thru the skin had oozed from my finger,
landing on the scope's base...
It quickly permeated
the base and adhered to it faster than I could remove
it. So I felt the opportunity had been presented for me
to research what it might bring. I left the scope
completely alone, only to look thru it from time to time
to see what the gel might produce. It began growing a
network of tubes and fibers. I captured the growth by
photographing it in weekly intervals. I won't post them
all here as my story is long enough as it is. But from
the picture of the gel that oozed from my finger above,
this was the first of what began to occur...
2-3 months time, it had produced a network completely
covering the base of the scope...
longer story short; the growth eventually lifted from
the base... although the initial drop of gel from my
finger remained. Being it had permeated the base
initially (and with no additional help from me) the
process began to repeat itself for a second time. Within
the same 2-3 month period of time, the base was
completely covered in a network of fiber strands all
over again. Same growth, different pattern the second
Once this second
growth lifted, there were even more areas of gel
permeated into the scope base. I finally sent the
scope to a Morgellons researcher and was told it seems
to be mutating once again for a third time.
In the 6 years I've
had this disease, I've helplessly watched it consume my
environment as well as me. It surrounds me now as though
I'm wrapped in a cocoon which there doesn't seem to be a
way for me to even try to escape from anymore.
Myself and other
Morgies have also removed "chips" that look much like an
RFID tracking device from our bodies. The chip I removed
from my arm looked like a tiny spec of glitter, not much
larger than the period at the end of this sentence. It
had the ability not only to change in color, but in
structure as well...
It began to
change in color...
began to change in structure as well...
suddenly began to emerge from within the chip itself...
eventually returned back to its initial state and is
finally being sent to a lab for analysis and
causes confusion, an inability to concentrate, and
effects one's motor functions, hearing and
vision. Speaking of vision, it's becoming more and more
difficult for me to see how and if I'll be able to
endure the nightmare.
As I said, destroying
my body and all I've ever known life to be isn't where
Morgellons stops. It's invasion and contamination
continues on in my environment. It's in my clothes, my
car, and everything in my home... down to my toothbrush
and even my dishes and silverware. I continue to see it,
feel it, and experience the hell it's causing everywhere
I go. It's taken me and all that I knew and loved about
life, and turned it into a lonely, confusing and painful
world. My energy and strength have been so compromised
that I'm left a tired, beaten down woman today.
In the last 6 years
that I've had Morgellons, myself along with fellow
sufferers have had no choice but to learn all we could
through our own research. We've also sent letters to
senators, congress, health departments, and the
like, to bring it the attention it must be given. We've
made a lot of strides... and we have indeed learned a
lot. Yet we still haven't found an answer.
I know the telling
of life with Morgellons hasn't been a fairy tale for you
to read... and isn't one. But in one respect, I have
gained something important while living inside the
When a disease as
bizarre as this turns your life into a lonely living
hell, with no means of escape... you begin to learn much
more than what you're trying to learn about the disease
itself to try and survive it.
Having this disease
soon taught me how very precious life really is... I
learned even more about the meaning of love and that our
hearts should always be filled with that love. I learned
enough to know if the day ever comes with the answer
that will put this nightmare to an end, and enable me to
live life again... I will live it without taking one
second for granted. I'll take the time to enjoy and
embrace each and every moment I've been given. I will
love purely in each and every one of those
moments... and give what I have to those who need it
more. I'll share laughter and joy and never complain...
and do all I can to bring peace to those who are
I can only hope and
pray now for what once was life again... to be free of
this nightmare and live it once more with all that I've
As one of my dear
Morgie friends always says...
love and light to all
To View All of Bannanny's Photos Link:
Land of the long
By Kay from New Zealand
Hands up who's seen Lord of the Rings?
New Zealand, clean
green, anti nuclear, and full of sheep. I was born in
England, emigrated as a toddler and have always thought
myself lucky, privileged even to live here. Us Kiwi's are
open minded and easy going. We are passionate about our
country, our people and speak up loudly against things that
may pollute our space. We speak with our wallets when a
company tries to feed us GE fed foods. We hassle the
tourists we see littering. We want labels on everything
saying what's in it. We want to know where our foods come
from, what it's packed in and how it was fed and reared.
When something we think is
wrong comes up, we come out of our homes, drive our tractors
up Parliaments steps. We speak up loudly, publicly and we
keep doing it en mass till things change.
I'm very much
hoping that this is the case now. That those of you who read
my story, a tale I've heard again and again from others
mouths, as if it was my own, will stop; take the time to
consider what someone has intentionally brought to God's
And more importantly what we are going to do, now
If you search for NZ and
Chemtrails there's web sites and personal
popping up nationwide. I've lived all over our country.
Often working in agriculture and choosing mainly rural
places to live. I wanted somewhere I could raise my children
that didn't push them to fast into adulthood. Where it
didn't matter if I slept with the windows wide and left my
keys in the car. Somewhere safe.
When I was 26, I had
a awful rash on my face, so bad the Public Health Nurse saw
me and followed me home. She thought it was Impetigo and
gave me Bactroban. It cleared up slowly and I moved on. Now
I'm new to this and can only draw my own conclusions, make
my own assumptions about where I contracted what I and many
others have accepted to be Morgellons and how long I've had
it. Whether I've carried the vector with me and been
infested and beat it back, only to be infected again in a
new place. Or if it's been lurking there all along.
But two years after the
Public Health Nurse followed me home it
time with lumps and sores on my head as well as my face. I
was working around Lime at the time and washed my face with
lemon juice to relieve the itching and burning. It stuck
around for 6 months this time, long enough for me to see
several Doctors and a Dermatology specialist. He prescribed
something that was harmful to my liver. I have an underlying
health condition and this time I did something drastic to
get rid of it. It worked, and again within a year we moved
Each winter afterwards
it returned. Each time getting worse. Taking longer to
leave. Colloidal Silver, Tea tree, Kawa Kawa, Antibiotics,
Antihistamines, Steroid creams. I had bonk sized marbles in
my neck, so that I couldn't turn my head. Lumps and sores on
my head, teeth falling apart and cripplingly painful
infections in the bones of my face. We worked our way from
South island to North. Eventually settling in the Northland
region 6 years ago. Initially I felt good with the change.
The warmer weather suited me. I planted gardens on my plant
empty section, a 100 year old house beside the rail road
tracks. I'd brought around 160 trees and plants with me
knowing the section was bare, I started to sleep better and
even to dream again.
When we got here our dog
wouldn't touch the water, not from the tap. We collected
rainwater from the roof. We brought him bottled water and
got a bench top filter. (I should have been paying more
attention.) He developed an allergy, scratched himself raw.
The vet said, "You can have him tested but it's most likely
a grass rash. Lots of the dogs here have it." Prescribed
Prednisone to lower his immune response. He developed
"calcium lumps". From the medication they said. No good we
said, stop the med's. We washed his feet daily, used
something natural to soothe, and kept him off the lawn.
On the 4th of April 2008, 10 years after the first
infection I woke
with bite sized lumps on my head.
"Great" I thought, the kids gave me
nits. I treated for lice without checking. By the 21st of
April, I was sitting on the Doc's doorstep, waiting for him
to open. Head pounding and large lumps and sores. I begged
him to lance the lumps, anything to relieve the pressure. He
disagreed, took a swab, started me on a antibiotic that
wouldn't make my liver play up. The first swab came back as
a 'heavy growth staphylococcus aureus', 'heavy growth normal
flora'. With a list ofantibiotics it was susceptible too.
And so it began.
We followed the list and it just got
worse. More antibiotics, huge
daily doses. I couldn't go
near the windows or into the sun. My local GP ordered all
sorts of tests, but nothing seemed to give him any answers.
I have been dismissed by other Doctors, sometimes with
arrogance, sometimes I felt out of sheer frustration. My
local GP was flexible about my wish to use natural choices
when possible. He listened when I started to research and
suggestions. If he felt it was relevant he ordered
the tests I asked
for, although I often frustrated and
perplexed him, he never begrudged me his time, was always
concerned and kind. Swab after swab, not sleeping, or
sleeping from sheer exhaustion upright, fatigued beggaring
belief, food intolerance so it got to the point where I
could eat almost nothing. I kept clothes in 4 sizes because
my weight would fluctuate.
You can laugh boys and
girls but I'd wake up with breasts 3 sizes
when I'd slept. Severe muscle and joint pain. When I slept
it was like waking up in a car crash, slapping concrete. No
middle ground, wide awake or out to it. I felt like my skull
had changed shape, but that made no logical sense. I'm no
wimp, they breed 'em tough where I come from and I'd been
dealing with my underlying complaint and it's lack of immune
response and various issues for half my lifetime. The pain
was so bad I was in limbo a lot of the time. Running on auto
pilot, taking a back seat in my mind and watching day after
day pass with no respite. The itching and burning never
I gave myself
designated scratching times. I smelt like super strong
vinegar and rotting flesh. I was extremely sensitive to
temperature changes. Cold was horrific, breeze on my head
was a kick in the gut. I got angry with my local GP,
thinking I had a M.R.S.A. going untreated. Frustrated that
they weren't proactive and didn't give me intravenous anti's
or hospitalize me and get rid of the damn thing. I felt like
he was out of his depth but pushing on instead of saying...
"Look elsewhere, I just don't know".
I stopped touching my kids
early on,was manic about alcohol prepping and fastidious
with cleaning my nails. I kept my grooming tools and towels
separate. He sought a specialists but my liver meant the
registrar at the hospital decided who I should see and often
I'd wait months thinking I was to see an infectious disease
specialist or dermatologist only to find myself bumped back
to the Liver Doc.
Seeing that man once was enough for
me. If you're out there Liver Doc and you recognize me
reading this. You need to take a big step back and check for
a bedside manner. Take a page from my GP's book. You,more
than anything I went through, came so close to pushing me
over the edge. If I'd let myself be hurt by your cruelty
instead of getting angry. I wouldn't be spilling my guts
I didn't want a biopsy
thinking I had a M.R.S.A. It wasn't my liver doing this, my
functions were always within range regardless of how sick I
was. I wanted you to help me, not accuse me of infecting
others, of being a 'secret drug abuser' or doing it to
myself. He dashed all my hopes,pooh poohing any ideas for a
future cure liver wise. Telling me they wouldn't offer me
treatment because it wouldn't work well enough and then
pushing me into it. Fairy tales of terrible side effects in
research trials to put me off waiting.
He prescribed a 7 day dose
of this stuff that made me vampirish and an accompanying
whacking great dose of more light sensitive antibiotics. I
cried red tears, pee'd red, had altitude sickness, and
fevers. I went to sleep a brunette and woke a couple of
hours later with the colour gone from my hair. Hair that had
been falling out in handfuls and clumps. The kitchen might
as well have been a million ,miles away. When it didn't work
it was prescribed over again for longer. I could rave on and
on but just rinse and repeat. This has been my life these
Eventually my local GP said he didn't
know what to do and I started to haunt the medical centers.
Skin biopsies, showed only non pathogens. Yet reading
through my test results today I see a recurring sentence.
"There is a gradient of cardiovascular risk, across the
normal range and at higher levels." I started to slur my
words. Struggling to read bedtime stories to my youngest. I
lost my eidetic memory and much of my 'self' with it. I'd
given up the things I enjoyed paring down to the barest of
basics. My house plants died, so did my fish, my dog had
seven benign tumours
removed the worst in his chest, he
got worse not better.
I had depth perception
problems, cart wheeling lights and worm like shapes across
the back of my eyes. My vision was terrible. I wore
sunglasses to read in a 40 watt light. It got so I couldn't
stand the sound of my children's voices. Fake it till you
make it, was over. I couldn't make my body do what I needed
it to any more. I reached out for help and almost lost my
children in the process. I stopped taking anything but the
I was able to separate the liver
symptoms from the others and went back to the computer.
Entering my mental issues along with my physical symptoms
gave me a page of symptoms. I had all but seven. I didn't
believe what it was telling me... Nah, madness, ridiculous.
I snooped around, reading all the sites like this one. I
found some folk that were making sense to me and followed
them back to a forum. I was told, baking soda and saturated
salt showering and bathing. I saw no harm in it and
thought... why not?
You guys that suffer with
me know what I found in my bath. Worms, fibres, chunks of
plastic, plasticine like stuff. Things I thought were veins
lifted from my legs and floated away, fibres came from my
breasts. That night I slept in satin bedclothes, satin
sheets. Woke to hundreds of glassine cactus like prickles in
my bed, I swept them with my hand only to have them turn
black and start chewing their way into me. I ran for the
baking soda, had hold of one by the tail with tweezers and
still it escaped into my flesh.
They poured from my eyes,
eyebrows and head. The next day I was in town with a
girlfriend. I could barely breathe. She gave me her mum look
about to tell me not to scratch. I was crawling, stuffing my
hands into my pockets. I couldn't stand it. Thought I had
lost my mind. I stuck a finger in my ear at the lights and
pulled a worm, much like the one shown on my tooth
pic's here, from my ear.
We got to the library and
my girlfriend looked at me. "Don't freakin' move" she said.
She had been watching a black slug like thing gnaw it's way
out of a lesion at my forehead and
move across my hair.
She works as a caregiver and is pretty fearless. Reached up
and plucked it from my head. She brought me a digital
microscope on loan the next day. I searched more information
and vacuumed like crazy.
My youngest complained of
'prickles' in her feet and I looked in time to see one of
these black slug like things disappearing into her foot. I
made a baking soda poultice and the next day took her to our
local beach for the day. We have one of the highest
saturated salt beaches in the world, more salty than my
Misery for me. Big holes in my fingers arms and
legs as they ate their way back in. I wormed her. A friend
sent me some of your Bio enzyme. We can't get it here.
It took over four
weeks of eating acid foods and breaking all the
stop the shedding. I had to find a way to protect my child.
By 3 pm every day I am crawling with them. In the sun or
normal bath they pour from my eyes and nose. Worm like
things with millipede legs came from inside me, bug like
things from my scalp. the pressure in my head is often
intense and I throw bristles that later hatch the mite
things. The scab like fibreglass, with a tongue like a
shellfish, or claws. The goo ate through latex gloves.
I'd tweezed the scab from
my head seeking relief, was looking at it over a lamp in a
glass dish. What are those blue wormy things? It got hot and
exploded with spider like mites towards me. They moved like
something unnatural. So quick and like nothing I'd ever seen
before except in horror films when they release the nanobot
I can understand why
folks find this so hard to believe. I was seeing it, the
people around me too and I couldn't accept it. It makes no
sense to find so many subsets of species working together.
So many different looking "things" in one host.
kids seem to be immune. They find white eyebrow and lash
like hairs, which I think is their fathers superior immune
system giving response. My youngest has a different father.
I've had to arrange for her to live elsewhere and soon so I
can try more salt bathing tolighten the load. I can't put
into words how much it breaks my heart to have her go. How
hard it has been supporting my children with verbal stroking
instead of touching.
How isolated I have
become. How determined I am not to be a 'harbinger of
plague.' I noticed a marked improvement in my cognitive
abilities. I could stand a 60 watt light and some types of
music again. I couldn't have composed a sentence before. Let
alone this epic response. I'll spit it out now in case I
We bathed the poor dog in the Bio
enzyme. Every pore, every orifice spewed the same sorts of
things. At least a third of his hair wasn't hair. My son
sick to his stomach at the sight, spewed on the dog brush.
They came alive with the acid writhing like maggots. He says
that he touched them and they didn't try to get into him.
Yet they pursue my youngest around the house. Every surface
in our house that an insect touches seems to kill it. I'm
talking roaches and earwigs...not butterflies.
I see the fibres in my
bed and all through the house. In the ground outside.
Morgellons like mould in my tomatoes and plants. We don't
eat out of our garden any more. The dog comes in riddled
again from outside and seems to know now to stay off the
ground. I had to get rid of all my natural fibre clothing,
and blankets. They breed in it.
Two months ago I
received a letter in the mail. A Skycopter company warning
of spraying 4 different chemicals along the rail road track.
I though whoa, 100 years this house has stood by the tracks.
I checked on the local grapevine and with my kids friends.
Only the houses directly beside received these letters. In 5
or 6 years here it's the first I've had. Ask lots of
questions if you pick up a 'Staff' infection, or have
trouble breathing, hearing, or with your vision. Stay inside
if you think there is aerial spraying.
Did I scare
you Joe public? Good. Because this is something anyone with
sense ought to fear. Be afraid for your children.
your pets, your elderly, your sick. Your teenagers with what
looks like terrible acne. Be afraid for your hale and whole,
your neighbours, loved ones and friends. Be afraid for your
self and your country. ACT NOW.
Dust off and fuel up
those tractors New Zealand. Support our
American friends. Raise your voices, step out of your homes
and stand up. Before we have no need for a national anthem.
No All Blacks or All Whites to put on the sports field.
Please don't ignore this and end up like me.
The Views expressed in this
section are those of our contributors/authors and do not
necessarily reflect the opinions of the Morgellons Exposed
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